Be the You God Created You to Be

The year was 2016 and it started like any other year.  By the end of the first month, I knew it would not be.  God used my doctor to bring me to my church as my Father knew what was coming, what His plans were for me, and this church would be the vehicle He would use to save my soul, hold me up and align me to His perfect will and purpose for my life.

All my life to that point was a pursuit in pleasing others and self, fitting into the molds others had cast for me, seeking approval, pretending to be something I was never created to be.  My Father would do what needed to be done to bring me back into alignment with Him. The manmade molds needed to be broken.

By February 2016, my marriage was falling apart and in the very same month, my earthly father was diagnosed with Stage 3 Esophageal Cancer.  Months later my dog of 13 years, my shadow and companion, fell deathly ill and didn’t have much time left.  By June, my worst fears became reality in my marriage.  One by one my idols were being removed, cornerstones of “my identity” destroyed, and I was reduced to dust. “then the LORD God formed the man of dust…” (Genesis 2:7). God was doing a new thing but in my pain I could not perceive it.

While my marriage was not dead, it was struggling for breath and cancer took my father March, 2019.  To understand the depths of this loss you must know that my father was and forever will be the earthly man who loved me purely and completely, my good, my bad and ugly and was undeniably, irrefutably faithful to me.  I was his little girl.  My father, during his fight with cancer, in his last months, even called me when I was sick to see if I was doing better and if there was anything he could do for me.  This was my father!  Losing such a man in the midst of a tumultuous season should have killed me.  But, God was doing a new thing.

In addition, I ended up having to put down my loyal dog of 14 years.  Another earthly comfort removed.  With that, God had removed, or allowed the removal of all my earthly comforts, support, love, and idols.  What was left was the love of my God.  It was just Him and I. Finally.  God became my everything in those years from 2016 through 2019. 

In June 2019, as the dust was settling, I began to ask the question, “Lord, who am I?  Who have You created me to be?”  The answers came slowly as the last 3 ½ years of my life had seem to wipe clean all I thought I was.  Looking back, I can see I was wiped clean of all internal identifying characteristics and personality, so His person, His Spirit would be the core of my identity and existence, my only source.  This would be the season that He would restore that in me He always had created to be.  One by one, my traits were being re-established, redefined, brought to me in light of who He is and who He is calling me to be.

Apart from God, I don’t know who I am.  “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Now, He is, in every conceivable way, my cornerstone.  He defines me.  As if the gift of salvation of Jesus is not all encompassing and supremely sufficient, He has given me a new life while still on earth.  A new identity, a new dream, a new hope, a promise.  Of all His marvelous creations, He knew he wanted one of “me”, one of you.

Friend, you and I are were created by the Father of lights (James 1:17) .  In all His creation He divinely appointed you to be you, not someone else.  He has one of those already, whomever it is you might be comparing yourself to or trying to emulate.

He wanted a Michelle, as He created me to be.  He wanted a (insert your name here), as He created you to be.

Is He doing a new thing in you but all you can see is the world?  Do you ever find yourself trying to fit into someone else’s mold? Do you realize you might be trying to?

All of His ways are intentional, flawless, and purposeful.  You were created on purpose by the Perfect One, the Ancient of Days.  Be you and only you, nothing else will do!

Prayer: Holy Father, blessed be Your name! From the beginning You ordained that my Friend would be Your creation, made in Your image. I ask You in the name of Jesus that first and foremost my Friend would know You, love You and accept Your Son Jesus as their Savior and Lord. I ask You Father that starting today they shed the labels, names, and casts this world has placed on them and walk in who You created them to be, fearfully and wonderfully made! You alone are their Creator and Father, so You alone get to define them. May they come to deeply understand what it is to be Your child. It’s in the Almighty, Matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen!

Whatever it is…. you’re deepest pain, your greatest fear, your suffering, your devastation, humiliation, emptiness, your loss, your grief, broken-heartedness, aloneness, emptiness, sorrow, your shame, guilt, regret……you’re in the experience of whatever it is and the pain feels unbearable. You’re at rock bottom. There’s no where to go for relief or comfort. The reality of whatever it is……IS. No one can understand, or even if they do or can to some extent, no one can know exactly. No one can go that far and that deep to really know and understand fully….completely. Only you know the reality of what you’re experiencing. In this moment, it’s all consuming. You can cry your heart out until there’s nothing left. You feel raw, bare, vulnerable and naked with the intensity of your feelings. This is all of you….the deepest of your heart and soul being poured out. No pretense, no falseness, just the truth of yourself and your feelings. Who can be with you in this moment, or who would you even allow to be with you or see you in this moment?

In this moment, there is only ONE who can know the truth of you….who can understand fully and identify completely. And it is here in your raw, vulnerable, most humble state, that you need to stop and think about what went on at the Cross. There is only one who has experienced every aspect of every kind of pain and suffering, all that you’re going through and more. He has experienced physical, mental and emotional suffering; he was betrayed, abused, beaten, mocked, put down, despised, misunderstood, talked about, lied about, taken advantage of, left and abandoned, and not only unloved, but hated. He can identify with whatever it is you’re going through. He knows you. He knows you intimately. He knows your history and every detail that has brought you to where you are right now. He sees and understands. There is a great comfort and relief just knowing that you can share in this moment, right here and now, with the One who truly does know. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. In this moment you can experience a true oneness with Him….knowing He is with you experiencing your pain, and maybe for the first time you’re feeling His. Let yourself identify with Him. Not just “knowing” that He suffered and died for you, but you’re experiencing some of what He went through. Acknowledge that. You have both shared the same pain and He is right there with you, going through this time with you. Let yourself feel His love. Experience this unity that you cannot experience with anyone else.

Then think about the fact that Christ actually knowingly and willingly chose to go through His most unbearable & painful suffering for you….out of love for you. The very experience and pain that you are trying to escape from, and would do anything to prevent, HE WILLINGLY AND LOVINGLY CHOSE TO ACCEPT. He did this for you and for those you love….your parents, your children, your spouse, your friends. What an unimaginable sacrifice of love this is. Can you even comprehend it? It’s important to let yourself really think about this because it’s true….it’s real….it happened. Someone loved you and valued your life that much! Let yourself experience the significance of this. Understand that there is one who would do anything to save you because of what and who you are to Him. This is LOVE. Personalize what was done here because He did this for YOU, not just those people, way back there, a long time ago.

Examine your love for Him and let it grow and deepen as you come to know Him better each time you make your journey to the Cross. He’s always there going through your experiences with you, but how often do you go to Him and share in His? How often do you really go back to the Cross to be with Him and let yourself imagine and remember all that He went through? How often do you acknowledge what it is He did? We’re reminded of it at Easter, but how often at other times do you really stop and think about it? What an ALONENESS that is for Him! We were all a part of His cross experience. He did what He did….for US. Such an act of love, that was done for us, should be something we want to intimately understand and remember always. When we have Communion, His words say “do this in remembrance of me.” It is important to go back and remember and to experience it and learn from it. We need to experience the depth of His love and continually be renewed by it, and through our remembrance, deepen our love for Him. Continue to grow in understanding of what God’s love is….the awesome enormity of it. You are a part of Christ’s life story. You are precious and priceless and a part of Him. His deepest desire is to share eternity with you, but you have to choose to believe and accept the gift that He offers you.

When you understand personally what He has done for you and you let yourself experience the significance of it, how can you not love Him back….with all your heart? When you understand that He is the only one that can love you completely and unconditionally, He will then become first in your life. When you share in those moments of unity with him, you will experience a love that is like no other. It cannot happen with any other human….only Him. This experience can give you the true understanding of His Identity. This experience brings truth, understanding and answers…..which brings you peace and joy and love beyond measure.

Do not resist or deny or escape from the pain in your life. Go to Him each and every time. Contemplate the pain so you can understand the root of it. Communicate with Him and let Him reveal truth to you. When we’re in pain, it usually has something to do with love. It usually has to do with people in our lives. Sometimes we need to just experience and accept the pain as an act of love. Those we love are worth it, and that’s a beautiful thing. (This is what He did for us.) Your love will grow and expand if you let yourself experience the fullness of it….which includes pain. Once you do, He will give you an inner strength which will sustain you. When you allow yourself to love, you experience God, for God is love. Remember, Christ in you, can do all things.

Willingly go to the Cross and treasure the times that you can spend with Him there, experiencing who He is and the depth of His love. His love covers all of your sins and fills all of your voids. He saves you each and every time! So much interaction and transformation can happen here at the foot of the cross. I believe it must touch His heart each and every time we willingly go there to meet with Him…..to not only go there for Him to meet your needs, but for you to go there to simply acknowledge Him and share in true Communion.

Reading all of this is just reading “about” the experience, but I encourage people that I share this with to think upon these thoughts when they’re in the reality of their own painful moments, times of struggle, or in prayer over their deepest needs, etc…

Once you’re there, experiencing your pain, you come to a place where you’re experiencing your honest self. You come to a place where you can confess, admit, see and understand the truth of yourself. There’s no barriers or filters….a great state to be in which allows truth to come in. We are open to hear, see and experience God’s Spirit. That’s why answers come and truth gets revealed. This too is where you can think about and identify with His pain and the truth about Him. You experience the comfort of knowing He knows yours and you can now share in His….not just as head knowledge but feeling some of what He went through. In this way you can now better understand Him. This is true communion.

Then as you continue and acknowledge “His Will” to accept His suffering, you can understand His extraordinary love. That in itself should fill your emptiness and so many of your needs and desires. It should also give a better understanding about the purpose of sacrifice. Love is not love until there’s sacrifice. The act of sacrifice is love being lived out. His great love should stir a deep gratitude and love for Him in return.

Eventually the focus shifts off of yourself, and you’ve come to love Him so much that you just want to get to know Him more and more and hear about His life stories. It’s a true relationship.

As we grow and mature as Christians and understand the significance of the cross, we now willingly make this journey…….to give back to Him.

 

— Regina is wonderful blessing in my life! A believing sister in Christ. Faithful to her Lord. A mentor and small group leader, a professional and loving mother. Thank you Regina for sharing this! May God bless you and keep you Sister!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. Deuteronomy 8:5

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.  Hebrews 12:6

I hear the Father in my heart say, “My children need to understand that My love for them is unwavering.  It’s not gone in their consequences.  It’s not gone when I discipline.  Distinguish the difference.  I love them. I will love them always and forever. But, their sin has a cost.  My Son paid the ultimate price so that in receiving Him my children can be forgiven.  The consequences are theirs and in it all I AM HERE WITH THEM.”

Sometimes out of desperation, out of fear of jeopardizing that which we love we hide, we lie and sin.  We, I include myself, know that if, more like when, the truth comes out there will be a cost.  Here’s the thing, we never meant to live under the weight of sin and fear.

It’s time that we come out.  Come out of the cave and come into the light.

Come out into THE light, Jesus Christ, and be totally known, totally seen, totally forgiven and totally and completely loved!

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18).  The Father’s love is that perfect love.

We, as broken vessels, lack the capacity for this complete unconditional forgiveness and love.  But God.  By His Spirit He will “…supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19) to walk this out.

My Friend, there are always consequences.  Our choices, paths taken, all have results.  Positive Choices, positive results.  Negative choices, negative results. Please hear my heart when I say that the negative results /consequences DO NOT mean you and I are not forgiven or we are not loved by our Father.  We must be able to separate the two.

As the good Father He is, He knows that we learn best from the consequences our actions breed (or at least I do).  BUT GOD does not love us one ounce less than before.  It’s for love we are disciplined.

Take David.  His sin was two fold.  He committed adultery then murder.  As a result, his first born son from Bathsheba would die.  There was a price.  Nathan confronted David regarding his sin and  David grieved his sin.  David repented and asked for forgiveness. David was then blessed with more sons.  He continued as King of Israel.  

Friend, this was the root from which our Messiah Jesus would come.  God’s promises and plans for David never waivered.  He sinned; he lusted, committed adultery and murdered and all the while God’s love and forgiveness was not dependent on his works or who he was but in who His God is! 

Can I encourage you to separate God’s discipline and the consequences of our actions/decisions with HIS love and forgiveness?  Can I ask you to begin to see how completely separate they truly are?

And finally, Friend, can I encourage you to come. Come into the light.  Come, come out of the dark with all you are, in all you do and say and let His love and forgiveness melt away the fear, self-judgment and self-condemnation.  Come, come out and into the light of our Morning Star and receive what Jesus has for you.

He’s waiting, arms wide open, just for you!

Prayer:  Lord Father, I pray, in Jesus’s name, that whomever should read this have eyes to see and ears to hear how great and deep your love is and see and hear that complete forgiveness has already been obtained by your Son on the Cross.  That theirs is to put all their trust and faith in your Son Jesus Christ, ask for forgiveness and You separate their sin from them as far as the east is from the west, remembered no more.  Lord, Your’s is that not one may perish.  May it be so I pray in Jesus’s Almighty forgiving loving name.  Amen!

• If you’re curious as to how to begin, about the Gospel, please email me.  I would love to to walk you through it!

God Bless & Keep you!

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As I sit along the riverbank, a fish struggling in the water catches my eye. I walk to the river’s edge and see that it is in rocky, shallow waters trying to make its way upstream.   Slowly he or she, let’s say she, makes it from one spot to a higher one upstream only to find itself in shallow, rocky levels yet again. But the fish, it’s still fighting. It’s still moving it’s way upstream. Slowly, steadily struggling but still moving forward. 

I look again and she’s much higher up river than she was before. She’s not where she wants to be. She’s not where she should be but she’s better than she was before. 

Life as a believer is much like this fish. Our Savior Jesus, the ultimate fisherman, caught us.  We are His. But, it’s not time to go home yet and now we can’t exactly swim with the old school or go with the flow anymore. We are different now. Changed, new.  We are called to swim against the flow of the rivers and tides up to and through until we are finally home. 

Friend, you and I may not be where we want to be in our lives or our walk with Christ. You and I are certainly not where we belong. We are citizens of our Father’s Kingdom. But, if we too keep moving upstream, against the flow, even if it’s rocky, even if it’s shallow, we see that slowly but surely we are no longer where we once were. What we must do is keep moving toward Him, don’t give up, and one day we too will make it home!

 

The Storm

One day He got into a boat with His disciples, and He said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.”  So they set out, and as they sailed He fell asleep.  And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger.  And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!”  And He awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm.  He said to them, “Where is your faith?”  And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that He commands even winds and water, and they obey Him?” Luke 8:22-25

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“He got into a boat with His disciples”.  This is where the story begins.  Jesus got in the boat with His disciples.  We should not miss that.  This is Jesus.  He knew what was going to happen on that lake.  The windstorm may have caught the disciples off guard but not Jesus.  Knowing that the windstorm would ensue He decided to get into the boat with those following Him anyway.  I would dare say intentionally.  There is a lot to learn in the storm.

These were not amateur fishermen or seamen.  They knew how to handle rough seas and their boats, so this tells me this was a horrible windstorm that was over their heads and natural abilities.  Sound familiar. 

But, Jesus.  Jesus was in the boat with them.  They had already seen Jesus perform multiple miracles.  They have seen Him heal! But the storm.  The storm was specifically designed for them. Wasn’t it?  A storm that would rattle expert sailors/fishermen to their core.  A storm that was over their heads so much so they thought they were going to die.  Again, sound familiar.

They couldn’t fix it or save themselves.  They tried to do it themselves for so long that the boat was taking on water. The fact that Jesus was in the boat with them didn’t seem to comfort them either.  A personal miracle was needed.  A personal salvation disguised in their circumstances and a storm specifically designed for them.  Jesus performed a miracle specifically meant to save them.

Many times we can look at our neighbors and not understand why their circumstances have them so rattle and undone.  Aren’t they believers?  Don’t they walk with Jesus?  Why are they so afraid, upset?  Their storm is theirs.  A specific set of circumstances potentially designed for who they are so that God may show Himself personally to them.  Others may look at our circumstances and wonder the same about us.  Even though Jesus is in the “boat” with us, we can sometimes become undone and feel there is no hope.  

Jesus said only one thing to them, “Where is your faith?”  I feel the Lord ask me the very same question sometimes.  When He does, He does so gently and with almost a sound of concern in His voice.  As if first, to remind me of who He is and secondly, to bring back to the forefront my faith in Him.  

“Who then is this, that He commands even winds and water, and they obey Him?”  I would like to think that this is a question we know the answer to but in the storm and through our personal salvation, our personal miracle, we come to a deeper understanding and intimacy with “Who then is this”.  This is Jesus.  This is the one who commands the winds and the waves to cease and they obey.  This is the one who is always in the boat with me but it takes a storm for me to see, to truly see Him and who He is.  He is the waymaker.  The comforter.  The Savior.  The King and my Lord.  There is none like Him and there never will be.  He is with us and in the boat.  Like the disciples we just need to cry out and He is there.  Or, better yet, live in faith before the storm, during the storm and praise Him even more after the storm.  Again, Jesus did not condemn them for their fear but only asked the question.

So my Friend, what storm or storms are you experiencing?  They could very well be the result of personal choices gone wrong, consequences for these choices or divinely designed for Jesus to show, remind and grow you into knowing Him personally, intimately and more profoundly.

Prayer:  Father God, may we look at the storms of our lives as lessons and opportunities.  Opportunities to mature, learn from our mistakes and most of all to know you more deeply.  May we not wait until we are taking in too much water to remember that Jesus is already here with us.  May we remember that if we weather the storms anchored to you, we will be blessed when we get to the other side. In the saving name of Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen